Brian's Dead
The Eleventh Session of Bewbstuck

After the successful acquisition of the Treasure (known as the Unity Apparatus) from the Library and the unexpected capture of Jack Noir, the team returned stealthily by boat back to the ship, depositing the prisoner in the brig alongside Belligerent Mediary. While resting and recovering, Brian took it upon himself to interrogate Jack. However, his actions were unstable, and he began threatening and using his psychic powers to extract answers from the Dersite. Jack as unfazed, although rather surprised by the sudden change in behavior from the formerly easy-going Page of Blood. What little he revealed was nonetheless shocking: Jack claimed that the team’s Guardians had been captured for some time, and were kept imprisoned within a maximum security prison on Derse.

This information was revealed just as reports about the siege breaking around Prospit in Derse’s favor were coming in. Split between what to do, the group eventually were in favor of infiltrating Derse and freeing their parents, hoping that during the attempt they could also deal a blow to Derse and slow the war effort. They set off with Belligerent Mediary, who offered her services to the group so that she might tarnish and destroy Jack Noir’s reputation and ascend the ranks of the Agents that much faster. They set off in BM’s fighter and the Derse fighter stolen by the Derse Dreamers, heading straight for Derse while the Prospitian battleship kept its distance.

The team disguised themselves adeptly as Derse Special Forces, and landed at the foot of the prison. Using BM’s access codes and authority as a high-level Agent, they were able to avoid detection and enter as an inspection team. The group explored the first floor of the prison, while BM occupied the administration staff. They found several areas of the prison, including the break room, the cell block, and the guard’s office, where they gained first-floor access and RFID tags to protect them from the automated turrets in the area.

The group eventually came across the armory, and while examining the room for open lockers and loose weapons, they came across a strange, ornate box that was bolted to the floor. When the team interacted with the box, they were shocked to find it speak to them in a jovial and sinister manner before a holographic face was projected outwards. The box introduced itself as a Box of Many Things, and offered to play a game with the group. The rules were simple: The box offered powerful cards that could be drawn at random. The consequences of the cards could vary from very positive to very negative, and would affect the player immediately. The player could draw either one card or three cards, but once they started drawing, they could not stop. Once a player had drawn all of the cards they had chosen, they could never draw again and the Box would never acknowledge them afterwards.

Bird began drawing first, and opted for three cards. She first drew The Moon, which granted her a weak Alchemy Item appropriate to her. Next, she drew The Lovers, which resulted in a random Companion to her and the group growing bitter and resentful of her. She had no clue who it would be and was now anticipating the sudden turn of events. Finally, Bird drew The Hermit, which left her weak to the effects of injuries and influences.

Next, Will drew three cards. He first drew The Hierophant, which resulted in Will losing much of the confidence and experience he had gained over the course of the adventure. Next, Will drew The Magician, and was granted the power to know the solution to any one dilemma he faced, whenever he needed it. After that, he drew The Wheel of Fortune, which resulted in Will regaining his knowledge and experience immediately as though nothing had happened before. Lastly, Will drew The Emperor, and with it he was granted a mighty castle and dominion over the Turtles as their great and just King.

After Will, Elysse was next, also electing to draw three cards. Her first card was The Devil, a dangerous card that placed Elysse’s mind under the influence of dark, far-off forces that would take hold when they so desired. Her streak of bad luck continued after she drew Temperance, which resulted in many of her mundane items being stripped from her Sylladex and cast into the void. After this terrible draw, great fortune disguised as misfortune came about as she drew The Fool, which drained her of her intelligence and forced her to draw another card. With that last card, she drew The World, a powerful card that granted her four wishes. She immediately spent one wish restoring her mind and strengthening it further. Then, with her great power, she wished for the end of the Prospitian-Dersite conflict, and with that, the Royalty of each side put down their arms and began preparations to sign a cease-fire to combat the Spirals.

Finally, Brian drew his cards. During his selection, Brian drew Judgment. This card warped Brian to a floating island in a pocket dimension of combat, where he was to face off against a duplicate of himself, manufactured from magic and completely dedicated to killing him. The two were forced to fight to the death, and if Brian failed to win, he would perish forever.

Brian refused to fight, laying down his arms. He tried to speak to his duplicate to convince it to end the fight, but it calmly explained that he was compelled to fight and that there would be no escape for either of them until someone died.

Refusing to accept this and struggling with the implications of murdering a copy of himself compelled to destroy, Brian opted for a third option.

Brian walked backwards off of the platform, falling into the void and being swallowed up by the darkness.

With no body to kiss and no way to access their friend, Will, Elysse, and Bird were left with no options to save their friend. Brian’s Dream Self faded from existence like his real body, and Brian was lost from the Incipisphere.

The loss of their friend rattled the group. With no means of retrieving him, wracked with grief, the team prepared to continue through the Prison and save their parents. The journey itself was a whirlwind, as the team snuck through the second floor, fought their way through to the elevator leading to the third floor, and worked their way through several deadly traps.

Finally, the now trio arrived at the final prison cell, lit up brightly as though it was welcoming them in.

They stepped in, and saw the four Guardians standing in a line, waiting for their arrival. Behind them was a buzzing alien device, which held inside of it a robotic girl, seemingly asleep.

The Kids were greeted, but soon became aware that something was not right. Something was off.

And then the Guardians began transforming.

When the DM's Adventure Was Ruined
The Tenth Session of Bewbstuck

Our group finally arrives by Prospitian warship onto the Land of Libraries and Entropy, at the foot of a Turtle village on the shores of a massive lake. Disembarking from the vessel, the party enters the village and is greeted by the local population of Consorts, as well as the Village Elder, a wizened old Turtle named Frumple. During their brief stay, the group is addressed by a young and rather shy Turtle warrior named Gurpie. During their conversations, the kids reveal their quest to seek out a hidden treasure stashed away by a ‘friend’ of theirs (really Future Will). Gurpie informs the party of a massive library in the middle of the lake, and inquires about the treasure contained inside. Brian lies and claims the treasure contained within is the recipe for ‘pizza’, a mythical food from another realm. Excited about the prospects of ‘pizza’ (although concerned about its inclusion of cheese, manufactured from the uncomfortably-sourced mammal milk), Gurpie offers her services as a guide to the island.

Set up with boats and supplies by the friendly Consort villagers, the group proceeds far into the lake. Using the cover of the fragmented timestreams across the surface of the Land, they circle the island from a distance and arrive at an unguarded portion of the island. Using her new Treasure, Elysse astrally projects her soul outward towards the groups of guards protecting the door, using the bulk of the Ogres to smash the remaining guards and send them flying into the ferrofluid lake. The team enters and begins exploring, relying on Elysse’s soul projection powers to explore the rooms around them safely.

During the explorations of the main chamber on the first floor, the group finds puzzles and riddles left behind by Future Will to provide hints as to the location of the Treasure. A whiteboard in the main chamber has a cipher written on it that provides the clue that the Treasure rests on the second floor. Taking this clue in stride, the team exits the library and uses vines along the side of the library to climb up to a blown-out room on the second floor. Splitting up, the team begins exploring the rooms, making full use of Elysse’s astral projection to safely search. However, the doors are discovered to lock and unlock periodically. Over the course of a half hour, the team discovers that the doors lock and unlock over several minutes, with brief windows of opportunity to open the doors.

In one room, Elysse and Brian uncover a safe with a set of clues to open it. They worked to uncover the letters that formed the passcode, eventually settling on the word ‘knife’. With that, the safe exploded, leaving a small message inside with the words “HAA HAA – Jack”. Clearly, the Archagent was within the building and looking to hinder their efforts. With this, Elysse projects her spirit towards the center of the library on the advice of one of Future Will’s clues, and finds Jack Noir there, directing efforts while surrounded by strong guards. Using the same trick as before, Elysse possesses one of the guards and knocks the rest of the group off of the rickety floors down to the ground below, leaving, Jack on his own.

With that, the team bursts into the central room, which is a large Planetarium with a functioning model of the Incipisphere. There, they did battle with a surprised Jack, catching him off guard and handily defeating him, although not without taking a severe beating from him and his poisoned blades. Brian, positioned to deal the finishing blow to a weakened Jack, is confronted by the decision to murder Jack or leave him alive. In this moment, poised between two options, Brian awakens some of his Blood powers and chooses to deal a non-lethal blow, incapacitating Jack instead of ending him.

What will happen next? What will they do with Jack the prisoner? Did Brian make the right choice? Find out next time…. on Bewbstuck!

Heart & Soul
The Ninth Session of Bewbstuck

After a brief rest, the Party proceeded deeper into the bowels of Mirrormuse Temple. Vacating the Sacrificial Chamber now littered with the bodies of Warped Prospitians and Dersites, the group descended a flight of stairs into a small chamber with a mirror and several small statues. Above the mirror were the words ‘shout surrender and you’ll end here’. The statues were carved stones depicting a burning cube, a splinter, and a heart. The mirror seemed to reflect the room they were in, but didn’t show the reflections of the statues or the people in the room, nor the door.

After some time puzzling over the mirror and the statues, the group realized that the mirror actually acted as a portal, allowing the group entry into a nine-room maze. Each room had a small stone plinth and a mirror. The plinths had riddles inscribed into each, and each mirror acted as a portal through the walls, portals which could be moved between each wall in the room. The statues needed to be placed on the plinths, although several wrong answers resulted in some serious explosions. Several Warped Carapacians were also trapped inside the maze, resulting in some stealthy attempts to subdue them. Finally, all three statues were placed on their correct plinths and the doors to the next chamber opened up.

The group proceeded down a hallway, where the cries and moans of an injured creature could be heard. They arrived at a fork in the hallway, with a large ornate door to the north. At the end of the western hall, the group found a twisted and halfway Warped Prospitian buried under a cave-in. The pages from the journal piled around the figure, as did the remains of the journal’s cover. A key hung from his neck, which would allow access through the ornate door. Elysse used her Chiral Mirror to return him to his original form temporarily, but in his panicked state, he was unable to give any concrete information about what had happened except that the archaeological team had uncovered pots full of a black liquid, and that the site was covered in spirals the farther down they went. The archaeologist began to turn again, so the group did the difficult but right thing and ended his life before he was completely consumed.

Elysse, Will, Bird and Brian took the key and proceeded into the main chamber, where they were greeted with a busy sight. They had found the treasure chamber, with its tall ceilings, columns of crystal, and a mighty platform where a strange talisman rested. Across the room, a group of Dersite Agents were working a bedraggled group of Prospitians like dogs, forcing them to dig out the wall. Amongst the Dersites were two high-ranking Agents, the Courtyard Droll and the Hegemonic Brute. They quickly noticed the adventurers and attempted to scare them off before succumbing to their fear and trying to dig faster out of the temple. They explained that the Warped were coming and that the cave-ins along the halls were intended to keep them out for as long as possible.

As this was going on, Elysse examined a strange crystalline console with a heart-shaped symbol cut into it. However, as soon as she touched the device, her special Heart armor, given to her by the White Queen, activated and pulled her into the device. In a heartbeat, she was integrated into the machine and lifted above the crystal columns. These columns activated, granting her powerful turrets and the ability to create energy walls. These powers came just in time, as the sounds of the Warped echoed through the halls and vents.

The team proceeded to work with some of the Agents to set up barriers and defenses to prepare themselves for the onslaught. After a few minutes, the Warped began to try to break through the barricaded door, and in moments, dozens of Warped poured through the doors and eventually through the vents. Following them was a massive Warped Dersite Bishop, who pushed through the debris into the ruckus. Combat was intense, and Bird nearly died as the massive group pushed and surrounded her. Elysse worked the walls and turrets, blocking access points and giving the group some breathing room. Brian and Will worked from behind, trying to get ranged attacks in as Bird held the line.

Finally, the massive group of monsters was defeated, and in fearful recognition of their valor, the Dersite group left the treasure they were sent to recover, and made a hasty escape out of the splintered main door. Elysse descended from the machine, and as she made her exit, her body was flooded with an understanding of her Aspect. She became aware of the splintered selves in her, in her many twisting and winding paths, and how they could in turn all converge into one whole being. In this laconic haze, Elysse stepped forward and opened the plinth, unlocking the treasure that the Dersite soldiers had tried valiantly to free from its crystalline case.

The treasure she liberated was the Astral Projector, which allowed her the ability to cast out her spirit and take control of the bodies of others. This would be a power she’d put to good use in time. The group took the Prospitian archaeologists along with them and escaped out of the dungeon. Once out, they rendezvoused with their ship, only to discover terrible news. The Captain had been attacked! A saboteur had arrived on the ship and damaged the engines, as well as the Captain, resulting in the ship being open to attack from an approaching army. The troops were mobilized, and defenses were established around the ship as the enemy drew closer.

The battle was met and an invading force of Dersite Pawns charged forward, eager to shatter the defensive line. However, the Prospitians made quick work of them; the combined might of the entrenched soldiers, along with concentrated cannon fire, dispatched the Dersite army. With scant few survivors retreating, the Prospitians managed to capture the army’s commander, none other than Belligerent Mediary!

However, just before the group could breathe a sigh of relief, Future Will arrived with grave news. He had hidden away Brian’s treasure just in time, but now Jack Noir, Arch-Agent of Derse, was on his way to claim in on the Land of Libraries and Entropy!

What will happen with the Mediary? Will the group be able to regain Brian’s treasure? Who is Jack Noir and what are his plans? Find out next time…. on BEWBSTUCK!

The Quest of Mirrormuse Temple
The Eighth Session of Bewbstuck

Will and Elysse, their dreamselves awakened on the surface of Derse and completely clueless about the near arrival of a Prospitian vessel on LOTAR, set out to travel to the Shipyards on the main bulk of Derse, where they would steal a ship to help their friends.

Disguising themselves as advanced dersite Power Robots, the pair proceeded to convince all the guards they met along the way that they were high-ranking Dersites on the way to the Shipyards where they would hitch a ride to the Battlefield. However, when they arrived at the Shipyard gates, a wiseguy guard recognized their phony disguise and determined that Elysse and Will were underneath. However, some strong deception on Elysse’s part convinced the guard that they were actually doubly disguised, appearing like the Heroes so that they could trick the Prospitians into not attacking them. Requisitioning a Dersite Fighter, the pair proceeded to fly to LOTAR

Meanwhile, Bird and Brian watched the arrival of the PSS Pea Shooter, a massive Prospitian Destroyer that had been dispatched by the White Queen to replace their smaller and much more damaged prior vessel. Met by the Brusque Captain, the pair embarked on the ship and were show to quarters, along with the sleeping bodies of their comrades.

It was at this point that Dream Elysse and Dream Will rocketed towards the Pea Shooter in a Derse ship. A tense situation followed, as the captain attempted to destroy the hostile fighter before being informed that the Dreamselves of the two sleeping comrades was on that ship. They welcomed the two onboard, and Elysse and Will soon confronted themselves in an entirely awkward and highly stupid moment.

After these shenanigans, the Captain gave a tour of ship, detailing the troops and supplies spared to the group, while not sparing the Heroes his distaste that they were on his ship. He blamed the group for the blockade and increased Dersite hostility due to their involvement at the recent peace talks.

It was during this time that the group received a distress call. A Prospitian archaeological team on the Land of Echoes and Entanglement was under attack, although the attackers were unknown thanks to the choppy signal. Electing to enter the site, the ship set sail for LOEAE.

Arriving on the planet, the group disembarked near a Crocodile Village, where they were directed to Mirrormuse Temple. Whilst they were taking in the local life, Bird was approached by a mysterious Salamander. This salamander identified itself as Broople, and claimed to be a mystic with knowledge of the future. Broople accompanied the team as they approached the Temple.

Entering the Temple, they found the rooms littered with blood, trash, and a vile black substance. The substance was quickly identified as toxic. Among the trash were shreds of a journal, which granted some insight into the mission of the archaeological team, which was seeking entrance into the Temple where they could secure a rare treasure for the Player of Heart.

Descending into the depths of the Temple, the party confronted a hallway lined with lava, its walkway covered in pressure plates. The team worked across the hallway, attempting to disable or detect which pressure plates were connected to traps, eventually making it across with only a few injuries.

Then, entering the nave, the team witnessed the first signs of life. Bodies, both Prospitian and Dersite, littered the floor. This included on body that exhibited horrifying signs of deformation. There was also the presence of many small spirals growing in the room. The group explored more, entering some side rooms where they fooled a mirror spirit into giving up a great deal of illusory treasure, making it real in the process.

Proceeding further in, the team met a creature in the center of a sacrificial chamber. It was a Prospitian, horribly warped and twisted. Using a treasure called the Chiral Mirror which had been recovered in one of the side rooms, Elysse was able to reverse the warping temporarily. The Prospitian was traumatized and unable to answer much about what had happened. The Prospitian soon warped back and alerted other warped beings, which burst forth from the walls and vents. The team battled valiantly, tearing apart the ferocious and powerful creatures. Soaked in blood and severely injured, the group elected to take a rest before pressing on.

What are these strange warped creatures? What are the Dersites doing attacking the Temple? What will the group find deeper in the dungeon? Find out next time, on…. BEWBSTUCK!

Drifting Through The Medium
The Seventh Session of Bewbstuck

Lost in the Medium, drifting on the wreck of their ship after managing an escape from LOVAR, the Kids proceeded to attempt to get their bearings and find a way to a safe port. Working with the remnants of the crew, the Kids rebuilt a few components in the process. Will worked on the engines, allowing for one to produce a single burst of power before completely failing. Meanwhile, Bird patched up the hull and Brian managed to provide power to the navigational computer. Improving morale fell to Elysse, who bolstered the spirits of the crew and provided counseling.

After some progress had been made, the Kids came together with Jody to make a decision in regards to destination. With only one engine available, the group had to decide on a location and ride out the slow process of transit. Upon a suggestion of travelling to the mysterious satellite orbiting Skaia, Jody immediately and aggressively shut down the idea, despite it being the closest destination. After some pondering, the group decided on a course towards LOTAR, a two-week trip. With just enough food and water to make it, the group fired the engine, hoping that the gravity of the planet would catch them.

Two week passed. Social order broke down on the ship long enough that random sexual happenings of the group variety became commonplace, and Brian (through various shenanigans) became the expert on Carapacian sexuality and genitalia.

Thankfully, this is a game and we didn’t have to live through two week of this nonsense. ANYWAY. The ship finally arrived at LOTAR, but thanks to a minor miscalculation, it fell into orbit around the planet instead of descending. Using the last of the fuel in the guiding rockets, the group managed to cause a descent. The ship flamed across the sky, finally crash landing in the sea, conveniently near Bird’s house.

Disembarking, the group found themselves arriving at the house to a strange sight: the village they had helped prior (during their travels to Melonmold Crypt) had entirely upped and moved, settling at the house!

Taking this opportunity to sleep, the Brian and Elysse arrived upon their dreamselves. Both in a fit of genius made their way to their sleeping brethren, one by flying and the other by a complicated attempt at breaking into the tower on foot. Once there, both ended up awakening Bird and Will.

The Prospitian pair hustled to the Royal Palace on Prospit, where they arrived and explained the situation to the Queen. She quickly made a promise to dispatch a ship to pick them up and to replace their battered vessel, although cautioned that because of increased Dersite aggression, she could only spare this last vessel.

Now, the group awaits rescue from this new Prospitian vessel before continuing on their journey. Many options await them. Do they search for the treasures mentioned to them by the Queen? Do they seek out more Spirals to learn from them or destroy them? Do they confront Derse? What quests lie ahead? Tune in next time on Bewbstuck!

Escape from Spiral Madness
The Sixth Session of Bewbstuck

After having unmasked the murderer at the Promenade, the Kids found themselves confronted by the mysterious Opera Singer, the two forces standing squarely opposed to each other. The Singer’s plan was revealed (rather unfortunately for them considering their RPG blew apart the murderer and the floor) to be to destroy the talks with a bomb. A bomb planted squarely on top of a previously unknown Spiral hiding right under the diplomatic process meant to stamp them out.

The Opera Singer, determined to carry out their mission to destroy the Spirals, engaged in combat with the Kids in an attempt to buy time for the bomb to detonate. As the timer ticked down, the Singer landed several blows against the group, knocking out individuals left and right with mighty blasts. Nevertheless, Will and Brian managed to disarm the bomb with the help of the Prospitian Guard Captain while Elysse and Bird held the Singer at bay.

With the bomb temporarily neutralized, the team finished the fight against the Opera Singer. Bird, in an act of mercy, dealt a nonlethal blow to merely knock out the Singer. Curiousity overtook the group, and in a swift moment the mask of their attacker was removed, revealing….

The Opera Singer was a human! A human girl!

Coming to, and with her secret revealed, the Singer identified herself to Bird. Turning to her friends, Bird and the Singer came clean; they were related. In some strange way, Bird and the Singer were each other’s mother and daughter! The mysterious girl was named Jody Rose, and when questioned explained that she had arrived in this session from her own Sburb session, one inexplicably link to this one by means of a phenomenon called the Scratch. Her friends were stolen from her by alien forces beyond imagination; it was only by the skin of her teeth that Jody had stolen a vessel and by unknown means traveled to their session.

Her mission upon arrival was clear. She would destroy the Spirals that plagued this session as it had hers, all while stopping anyone that got in her way, including the Kids. With the Spirals dispatched, she would use whatever resources were present in this session to free her friends from their kidnapping. When asked why she managed to escape, the only reason Jody could offer was that her friends had reached God-Tier, a mythical power level few manage to achieve in Sburb….

Belligerent Mediary, a party to all of these talks, insisted on taking away Jody to a Dersite prison to be interrogated and put on trial. Not content to allow this to happen, the Kids formed a plan. Brian summoned his loaned Prospitian vessel, instructing it to ram through the walls of the Promenade. Once the walls were breached, the group climbed aboard as BM attempted to stop the escape. As a last ditch effort, the Mediary tossed a grenade into the pit containing the recently defused bomb and made a run for it. The ship barely made it out as a massive explosion obliterated the building.

However, the group hadn’t made it just yet. A pair of Dersite frigates approached, armed to the teeth and bearing down on their vessel. The Kids and Crew headed for battle stations. Brian took the helm along with the Captain, Will made haste towards engineering, Bird took over gunner duty, and Elysse proceeded belowdecks.

The pair of Dersite vessels flanked the ship, blowing holes in the hull. The crew fought valiantly, even as the Captain fell to gunfire. Brian took over piloting, attempting risky maneuvers and ‘punching it’ to escape their foe’s firing range. Will made attempt to improve the engines and give them more power, even as they took continuous damage. Bird blasted away major enemy ship systems, buying the crew time and neutralizing foes. Finally, Elysse discovered a stowaway belowdecks: the Esurient Dilettante! Holding a bomb in her hands and wearing a parachute pack, the Dilettante in her madness tried to cut a deal. If she were allowed to jump offboard, she wouldn’t detonate the bomb.

Elysse didn’t buy this line, and attempt to freeze ED in place with the frozen orb she had collected in Melonmold Crypt. Unfortunately, she missed her throw, sending it sailing through the open airlock. ED cackled and tossed the bomb at Elysse before jumping. In a brave attempt to save the ship, Elysse grabbed the bomb and tossed it at the airlock….

However, the bomb detonated just as it was leaving the ship, blasting a massive hole in the hull and disabling the ship. Thankfully, the Dersite ships that were pursuing them had been destroyed and the ship had escaped LOVAR’s gravitational pull. Nevertheless, the ship itself was wrecked, left drifting through the Medium.

With their vessel ruined and no hope in sight, what will our Kids to next? Find out next time, on Bewbstuck!

Murder at the Peace Talks
The Fifth Session of Bewbstuck

Arriving at the Land of Veins and Resonance, the group prepared for a set of peace talks aimed at providing both Prospit and Derse with time to investigate a growing problem: the appearance of strange spirals across the Medium.

Arriving at the Promenade, the group was introduced to members of both delegations. From Prospit, they met the Wearied Consulate, the Defensive Overseer, the Inferno Extinguisher, and the Legislation Interpreter. From Derse, they met the Draconian Dignitary, the Fawning Coadjutor, the Tome Coordinator, and the Wound Healer.

After introductions, the group set about engaging in afternoon talks. Both sides argued and spoke harshly against the other, but set about agreeing on sending a team of scientists with a smaller proportion from Prospit, alongside the Heroes, who would serve as guards. Talks were adjourned, and after a rest period and a lengthy dress-up session, the Heroes were prepared for the Promenade.

While there, they met many varied characters from both Prospit and Derse, who had been invited to join the festivities. Of note were the Adversarial Draughstman, the Esurient Dilletante, and the Mendacious Tapper.

Partway through the festivities, a scream shook out through the building. the Wearied Consulate, leader of the Prospitian delegation, was found dead in the smoking parlor! Enlisted to determine the identity of the murderer, the Heroes interrogated the partygoers for information. Will managed through time shenanigans to track down the Dilletante and the Tapper, who were not the murderers but who were working to steal treasure from the building. The group also confronted the Belligerant Mediary, who had been assigned as chief of security for the event. Several others were interviewed, including the suspicious Draconian Dignitary, but eventually all clues pointed to the Draughstman, who had killed the Consulate in order to stop the talks since he believed they were a ruse to allow the Dersites to build up their forces for a siege.

However, before the Draughstman could reveal who had actually set him up with the means to kill the Consulate, he was blown apart by an explosion. Up in the rafters, a mysterious figure emerged… it was the Opera Singer!

What will happen to the talks? What does the Singer want? Why was the murderer destroyed? Tune in next time for more Bewbstuck!

The Battle of the Belligerent Mediary
The Fourth Session of Bewbstuck

Finally having uncovered the wretched production facility manufacturing the Underlings in Melonmold Crypt, the group proceeded to familiarize themselves with the machines populating the control room of the facility.

The four Heroes manipulated the machines, learning that some machines could be used to improve or diminish the strengths of each Underling, that the Underlings could be programmed to accept orders from certain groups. So what is a group to do? Why, nothing but build their own small army of Underlings!

They initiated the growth of a squad of 8 Underlings, but soon noticed a major problem: An Agent of Derse with a whole team of Ogres and Imps! They proceeded to kill the newly crafted Imps one at a time as they came down the conveyor belt. Setting in the commands for some Ogres, the team went down to the ground floor to settle the score.

A giant battle blew out on the factory floor, with a defensive formation of Underlings pushing into the team’s line. Weapons were swung, blood was spilled, and the Field Agent (named the Belligerent Mediary) brought both Brian and Elysse near to death. While incapacitated, both Elysse and Brian found themselves in strange places; both awoke on Prospit and Derse!

Elysse had an encounter with a young Dersite servant, who pointed Elysse in the direction of the Horrorterrors. Looking out the window into the Void, she conversed with the tentacled creatures, who through meandering riddles, described the unnatural nature of the threats surrounding their Medium. Meanwhile, Brian awoke to a jubilant servant on Prospit, who alerted the White Queen and pointed him in the direction of the clouds of Skaia. There, he experienced visions of grey aliens with horns, of moments from his past on Earth, and of the four Heroes battling on a tremendous structure on the Land of Libraries and Entropy.

At the last second, a mysterious figure named the Opera Singer appeared, wiping out the remaining enemies and scaring off the Mediary. The figure quickly teleported to group out of the Lab, just in time to avoid the tides. Just as mysteriously as they arrived, they left, leaving nothing but a warning to keep out of their way.

Finding themselves back at Melonmold Village, the group received a visitor; a pilot from Prospit named the Audacious Navigator. Bringing news that the Queen had summoned them to an audience with her, the group traveled by Dropship to the Palace. There, she requested them to go on a mission of great importance. That mission was to join a Prospitian delegation in diplomatic talks with Derse. A threat known only as the Spirals was appearing. Massive spirals buried under rock were being uncovered and affecting the realms around them, and a ceasefire was being discussed to give each side time to deal with the threat.

She granted each kid a gift: Elysse received armor and the future location of her true Treasure. Brian was promised the potential of one of the strongest Treasures, instead taking temporary ownership of a hi-speed ship to aid in their quests. Bird received a chest containing her Treasure, which would unleash its parcel once the time was right. Will received the final Treasure, a keyboard Time Machine from his future self. After an awkward interaction, he received the machine and traveled forward in time.

In the future, Will saw a brief and dramatic moment: Massive fleets of ships fighting each other in the depths of space….

What will happen next? How will the peace talks go? Find out next time on Bewbstuck!

The Exploration of Melonmold Crypt
The Third Session of Bewbstuck

Went through the dungeon, got to the lab, stopped there.

Our heroes, in their perilous and treacherous task, finally penetrated deep into the heart of the forsaken Melonmold Crypt. They dark and musty walls greeted them in silence. However, they rapidly found themselves to be in the company of some rather aggressive foes!

Immediately upon entry, while turning down a corridor, Bird ran smack dab into an Imp patrol that was guarding the halls of the Crypt. They quickly ran into the nearby guardroom, where they alerted 6 other Imps and began a crippling attack against the wholly unprepared heroes. Nevertheless, with a significant amount of teamwork, the group slaughtered the offending Imps and pushed further.

The party made many discoveries while venturing deeper. They uncovered a chapel with a mysterious stone that later was revealed to be a stone of Resurrection! They also uncovered curious spheres in the Morgue and the Crematorium, one of which emitted a great deal of cold wind and the other of which emitted blasts of hot air. One chamber even contained a neglected Imp, trapped in his cage for being a nuisance. Garf soon joined the party under the wary watch of his new allies.

Loaded with treasures and a desire to uncover the source of the Underlings, the party examined a long-abandoned well for answers. Certain that they would find a secret entrance into the Underling base here, they dropped Brian down into the depths below. Lo and behold, Brian bashed down a wall and revealed an entrance into a hi-tech laboratory!

Journeying down, the rest of the group entered into this strange scientific arena. Researching on the computers covering the area, they learned that the Underlings they had been fighting were produced, nay, born here. Determined to learn more and to put a stop to this dastardly activity, the group ascended into the control room, slew a lone Imp, and then set about accessing the machines.

What will happen next time? Will they succeed and shut down this factory from hell? Find out next time on Bewbstuck!

Attack on Melonmold Village
The Second Session of Bewbstuck

Brian, being the last in bunch to find his transportalizer, ascended one of the many obsidian towers of the Land of Veins and Resonance. After having fixed the elevator, he and Maxsprite reached the penultimate floor of the tower, where he stumbled upon a firefight between and red-marked and blue-marked pair of dummies. With the assistance of his sprite, Brian managed to distract the red-marked dummy, allowing the blue dummy to kill it and abscond. Further exploration of the floor revealed a card key, which allowed Brian up to the top floor.

On the top floor, Brian found himself in the center of a turf war, as blue and red dummies shot at each other all throughout the floor. He attempted to sneak by but ended up causing a ruckus when he fell over near the door he was sneaking to. In an vain attempt to avoid getting shot, Brian sang a song using his ukelele. Instead of uniting the dummies in song, the blue dummies took advantage of the opportunity and killed all of the red dummies before leaving the building.

With the situation resolved, Brian proceeded through the top floor and found his transportalizer. Finally, all four humans (and their gaggle of cohorts) found themselves together on what appeared to be a space station or satellite orbiting Skaia. A computer came online and revealed itself as an AI operating the station. It identified itself as CORSA, otherwise known as the Cloud-Oriented Regulator and Sentient Agent. It answered questions regarding the purpose of the game, while simultaneously pushing our Heroes to choose a Land to explore. Before doing so, the group received ominous messages from mysterious persons on Pesterchum.

Elysse was confronted by fashionistaVictorious once more, who elaborated on the nature of their interaction. Elysse insisted they be friends and share details of their newly-embarked adventures together.

Bird communicated with jealousNecroticist, a hostile and foul-mouthed individual. They had no real desire to help Bird but felt their hand was forced. Bird reacted coolly to the insults, and the two parted with a faint promise to speak together again.

Will dealt with flushedHolograms, a jovial and rather dorky character, who proceeded to share their love for adventure and making holographic art. Barely allowing Will to get a word in, flushedHolograms informed Will that they were meant to share information together and be partners across sessions. Will easily agreed to this proposal.

Finally, Brian interacted with a seemingly even-tempered individual named aetherCastrated. They communicated information suggesting that they and the other mysterious people were aliens. They also communicated their intention to partner with Brian and share in game information.

All of the mysterious people spoke cautiously of the fact that our Heroes were already together tackling their Lands as a team. They also spoke of ‘benefactors’ that were helping them….

Our Heroes chose to journey through the Land of Tides and Radiation. They walked for a while before coming across a village in trouble. Coming up to it, they soon found a Consort Village under attack by Imps! The group dispatched the foes quickly, and communed with the elder of Melonmold Village, an Iguana named Babblewort. Babblewort thanked the group for their help but bemoaned the fact that the source of the Underlings needed to be destroyed. Enlisting the Heroes, Babblewort asked that the Melonmold Crypt be investigated, as it was pinpointed as the source of the attacks.

Along with a guide named Sloop, the group traveled north to the Drowned Canyon, the home of the Crypt. Climbing and crossing the canyon, the group put their skills to the test making their way through the treacherous environment. Finally, everyone reached the entrance of the Crypt, a large door with a mighty face on it. As soon as they approached the door, it came to life, speaking jovially to the party. Below the face was carved the words “the password is arid”.

After a lengthy and confusing conversation, it was revealed that the way to make the door open was to make it say the word ‘arid’. It soon swung open, and as the party entered the atrium behind it, they were locked in and attacked by several Imps and one mighty Ogre! An epic fight proceeded, with a great deal of teamwork and bravery taking the day back from the Underling menace. Even Sloop, a young and eager Iguana, managed to dispatch an Imp on his own!

Now the party prepares to penetrate into the heart of the Crypt, to find the source of the Underling evil permeating from it! Will they find what they’re looking for? Or will they join the corpses held within? Find out next time, on Bewbstuck!


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